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Why Relationships Fail, Including Marriage

Why do romantic or love relationships, including marriage, fail?  Here’s one big reason:  lack of honesty.  People are not honest about who they are, what they want or what they need.  As a result, the relationship is built on a shaky foundation, rather than a solid one.  Honesty is the backbone of living life well and this includes loving well.  In the beginning of a relationship people often pretend to be someone they’re not (in some cases it’s because they don’t know who they are, which is equally dangerous).  They believe they have to be someone else, be someone better or be someone different, in order to be loved.  They think that who they really are is simply not enough.  Who we are is always enough, especially for the right person!  Once in the relationship, people continue with their dishonesty.  They mold themselves to suit someone else’s wants and needs, rather than staying true to what they really want and need.  While this may work in the short term, it’s disaster for the long term.  Everyone deserves to have their wants and needs met – at least the ones that are really important to them.  Lastly, when the relationship starts to fail, which many do, no one wants to look at that either!  They think that by ignoring it, it will simply go away.  It won’t.  Be honest.  Be ruthlessly honest in your relationships about who you are, what you need, what’s working and what isn’t.  This takes courage and strength, but it’s critical to building great relationships that last.

Lessons Learned:

Relationships, including marriage, fail because people fail to be honest.  Be honest about who you are, what you want and what you need.  Most importantly, be honest about what’s working in your relationship and also what needs to change.

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Liz

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