Never underestimate the power of an apology. When you apologize to someone, you acknowledge their pain. When you acknowledge their pain, you give them permission to let that pain go. Letting go of pain opens the door to joy and happiness. If joy and happiness is what you want, the most important person you can say “I’m sorry” to, is often yourself. Why? You can’t control other people. You can’t make them say “I’m sorry” for something they’ve done that feels hurtful or hard to you. They may not be aware an apology is required (perhaps it isn’t – it could be just your perception). They may not be capable of an apology. You are capable. Give it to yourself. What do I mean by this? Feel your pain fully. Listen to what it has to say. Then respond with the sorry that you need to hear. I’m sorry that this happened, I’m sorry it was so hard, I’m sorry you had to go through this, I’m sorry you didn’t get what you wanted or needed or deserved. Say sorry and say it often. All pain, especially big pain, wants to be heard and acknowledged in its entirety before it says good-bye. Give your pain the recognition it deserves so that it knows its job is done.
When you listen to, acknowledge and have true compassion for your own pain, you give yourself permission to let that pain go.
P.S. Don’t miss the opportunity to apologize for any pain you’ve caused to yourself (pain caused by poor choices you’ve made or because you simply were not there for you). Let that pain go too!